Freinds Forever !!!

Browse through categories:
Home
Articles
Great Tips
Services
Products

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The science of love: Look into my eyes

London, November 7: It may not appear to be a surprise finding but researchers have proved that the science of love is simply to look straight into the eyes of your opposite sex and give a smile.

Researchers in Britain have carried out a study and found that a direct smiling gaze from a possible mate is a look of love that makes that person appear up to eight times more attractive, The Guardian reported in London on Wednesday.

According to lead researcher Ben Jones of the Face Research Laboratory at the University of Aberdeen, "It does seem to be a sort of narcissistic thing. People are attracted to people who are attracted to them.

"It's really a very basic effect that we are all, at some level at least, aware of -- which is that if you smile at people and you maintain eye contact, it makes you more attractive."

In fact, in their study, the team of researchers put together four different sets of digital images – women looking happy, women looking disgusted, men looking happy and men looking disgusted.

In each case, the scientists made up pairs of images that were identical except that in one the person was looking directly at the camera and in the other their gaze was averted. Volunteers then rated the relative attractiveness of the images in each pair.

The team found that a direct stare is attractive only if the person giving it looks as if they like you. This preference was even higher if the face in the picture was of the opposite sex.

"What we found at the most basic level is that people like faces with direct gaze more than they like the same faces with averted gaze. In other words, people find it more attractive when they are being looked at," Dr Jones said.

The results are published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society journal.

Labels: Article

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

How to steal your best friend's girlfriend

Stumble It!!!

NB: The use of masculine form throughout this document is to alleviate the weight of the text; replace "girlfriend" with "boyfriend" where appropriate. I'm sure a lot more insight could be provided from female noders; feel free to elaborate in subsequent nodes, or create a new one altogether.

Preface

For most of us, the concept of stealing your best friend's girlfriend is immoral. It's common decency to keep your stinky palms off a pal's chick; at a deeper, theological level it's also one of the earliest directives recorded in the Bible: Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife.

However, anyone who denies having contemplated the prospect of getting it on with his buddy's girl is, put simply, a liar. Whether it's out of pity, because said girlfriend is being mistreated and deserves better or simply out of lust, the feeling is not uncommon and deserves an honest review and practical HOWTO.

Disclaimer: Before I get bombarded with death threats and nasty emails, let it be known that this document is purely for entertainment purposes. Don't go out and do this. It's probably not right, in almost all cases.

Phase 1: Examine your motives

Before you embark on the journey that is ahead of you, make sure you are aware of your motives. Why are you doing this? What are your feelings towards the girl? Do you intend to have a meaningful relationship with her, or is sex your primary objective? How important is your friendship with the guy being setup? Make sure those questions have been answered in your mind before you go on to step 2. If they haven't, the whole thing might backfire and blow up in your face, and it won't be pretty.

Phase 2: The passive, friendly observer

Whenever your friend or his girlfriend invite you to attend social activities, make sure you participate. Do not decline invitations. This is where the bulk of the work gets done. Throughout those activities, it is important that you study their characters and personalities with much minutiae. Learn to notice facial expressions, body language (posture, gestures, position). Remember what makes them tick; this will be very important in Phase 3. I'm talking about the little things. The details. It could be anything from the way he chews with his mouth open to her bad smoking habit. Of course you must also notice the positive things, the way he handles uncomfortable situations, the way he apologizes (or doesn't) for any wrong doing. How she reacts to those things. Mind games are played with small, intricate moves; it's not a fast paced sport, think of it as a chess game for the intellectually insane.

Phase 3: Build yourself up

The knowledge you have acquired during the observational stage is priceless. During phase 3, you become closer to the couple. You want to make it clear that any shortcomings the boyfriend has are not an issue with you. You want to become a friendly, non-threatening figure; someone they can trust. Some of the qualities you must exhude are generosity, peacefulness, balance. Self-confidence doesn't necessarily have to be accentuated, unless it's something you have noticed she longs for in Phase 2. If you demonstrate too much self-confidence, it might blow up your cover later ("You were planning this all along!!"). Your mileage may vary, but a reasonable amount of shyness will ensure you are perceived as a non-threatening figure. At this point, you are comfortable enough with the couple to compliment the girl on things her boyfriend is now taking for granted. Do it. Everyone knows women wish to be flattered. If friction occurs between the partners, make sure you contact the girl personally; the boyfriend doesn't need to know, but you are not hiding secrets from him; don't do anything you wouldn't be comfortable explaining to him as marks of friendship; anything crossing the line will instill doubt in his mind and could ruin the operation. This phase can last anything from a few weeks to several months, it is up to you to decide when the bond you have meticulously created with the girl is strong enough to sustain Phase 4: what comes after building yourself up...

Phase 4: Tear shit down

This is the crucial moment where depanding on your intentions, your will concentrate your efforts on one of the three options available to you:

* Take the relationship down from the inside
* Take advantage of a weak moment in the relationship to make your move
* Let time do it's magic

The first one, taking the relationship down from the inside, takes time and a lot of involvement. This option will most probably severe the link between you and your friend, unless it's done with zen-like dexterity and expertise. Of course, hundreds of nodes could be written about how to this, but a few pointers are: replacing the boyfriend in activities he despises, using any reason you can find to comfort her, innocently point out things about him that she might or might not have noticed, reinforce things you have noticed in phase 2, provoke situations where you know she will be disapointed by her boyfriend's behavior, have friends drop hints around the girl and the list goes on. Afterwards, things will simply fall into place.

The second one, takeing advantage of a weak moment in the relationship to make your move is most likely the approach you will take if your intentions are less than honorable. When the relationship hits a clear definite low point, it is time to jump. It's pretty much an all or nothing situation. In familiar settings tell the girl you are 100% on her side, and that even though her boyfriend is your friend, you care about her a lot and it kills you to see her get mistreated the way she is. Between this point and the point where you get a sniff at her panties, there is anything between hours and a few days, depanding on how convincing / handsome / hyprocrite you are. Truly this can be the lowest form of love hijacking. If your intentions are pure however there is a chance this will lead to a meaningful, respectful relationship, as long as you come clean about what your intentions were in the first place.

Finally, the surest way to get to where you want to be is to let time do it's work. Through slow erosion wounds will deepen; the relationship will disintegrate by itself and after the inevitable breakup, you will be the first in line. Your personal insight into the problems the couple has been through and close relationship with the girl ensures you have first dibs and are positioned just right to make things work. If you have followed the previous phases you are basically guaranteed at least a shot at it. And as a bonus: chances are the friendship you have with the boyfriend will survive! After the initial period of adjustment, you can salvage a perfectly viable friendship.

Epilogue

I wrote this guide because I see so many people trying to do this and failing miserably. There is no magical way to steal a girl from your friend. Effort must be put into it. Now go out and break some hearts.

Labels: Great Tips

How to get a girl's attention

Stumble It!!!

I didn't see my wife.

I saw a thin faded sundress, and the silhouette of a woman underneath. She was reaching for her bag. Sun-bleached golden, long wisps of her hair brushed the floor of the station as she bent to the ground. The backs of her sandals dug into her heels, like she'd been walking too long and too far.

Curiousity moved me up the back of her legs, to the strawberry birthmark just at the edge of where her skirt met her skin.

I shifted in my seat, trying to be discreetly interested. There are a lot of creeps in bus stations. This was a traveler's last resort. People don't take Greyhound for the adventure. They take Greyhound because they're too poor to travel. And wherever these people were going, you could bet it was somewhere tourists wouldn't even stop to piss.

Besides, a nice ass doesn't guarantee a nice face. I waited it out.

Here she goes. Why do girls do that with their hair? When they bend to do stuff and then get back up and whip their hair out of their face? Do they know it's an instant hard-on or are they completely oblivious? So after the flip of the hair, I see the eyes. This is a sad, sexy woman. The kind of eyes that have seen pain and heat and everything in between. The kind of eyes that see right through me. The greenest eyes I've ever seen. She had one eyebrow raised to the somewhere behind me, making it safe to stare.

I traveled the slide of her cheeks, the round of her hips, the arch of her neck, and the faintest edge of white lace winking at me from behind the strap of her dress. Her skin was copper from a mix of sun and hard work. Her nails were short and clean. Her hands, fine-tuned and steady.

This was the kind of woman who could take a shot of tequila without making a face. The kind who walked past me everytime.

So while I'm thoroughly checking her out, hiding the growing show of appreciation in my pants with a copy of Time Magazine, she starts walking... still staring at the great somewhere I'm not. I'm letting her get away. So without thinking, I stick my foot out, and she goes flying. Can you believe that? What an asshole! Now she's on the ground and it's my fault. So I jump up to make sure she's alright and she just looks straight through me and says, all business-like, "I'm fine, thank you."

I reach my hand out to her to help her up when I see that her ears are turning red and she's breaking a sweat at her temples. It hits me that she's embarrassed. And it strikes me funny for some reason; that a woman like that could be embarrassed.

So I start to laugh. And I can't stop. It's the kind that comes out with a guffaw, with snorts and hiccups. The kind that makes a guy look real cool. At first she's looking at me like I'm an asshole. And then it strikes her funny too. So there we are in the middle of the Greyhound station, tears rolling down our faces, when I look down and realize that I'm still holding her hand. And she's holding mine back.

I remember it like it happened this morning.

It's funny because when she'd ask me when I realized I loved her, I never could answer her. I couldn't think of when. I'd just shrug and say, "I don't know."

When she was pregnant with Jill, I wouldn't cross the room to put my hand on her belly when the baby was kicking. But at night, when she was sleeping, I'd slide down the bed and put my ear up to her belly and listen.

I was stupid, pretending she didn't know I did shit like that.

Labels: Great Tips

Some observations on getting a girlfriend

Stumble It!!!

Well, if you're a guy like me, kinda timid and laid-back, you've probably had more than just a bit of trouble getting a girlfriend in your lifetime. But lots of girls think you're cool though, but they just want to be... uck... "friends." Do you really want that? Probably not. You want someone to snuggle up with, to cuddle with, to make out with, and possibly to even fuck. So, for your benefit, here are four simple rules that I devised, that have helped me out immeasurably in my quest for female companionship.

NEVER tell a girl that you like her, until you have her in your arms

This is crucial. Key. Critical. The first rule. Mumble it to yourself at random intervals, scrawl it down on nearby sheets of paper. Do not forget this rule, and do NOT break it except under the strangest and most extreme circumstances. If you do break it and tell a girl that you like her, without even having touched her in any serious way yet, I can almost guarantee that you'll fail miserably and you'll have +1 to your "friend" count. (Unless, of course, she happens to TOTALLY dig you, or is really really desperate.)

Why, you ask? It's simple. Until you've had good touching going on with a girl and gotten close enough for her to know that it feels really great to be held by you, she probably isn't thinking of you as a boyfriend yet, just as someone cool to confide in (or something. That's what I always got.) Additionally, most girls like the thrill of the chase, so to speak. Being in suspense, thinking "Well, I think he might just like me... I'm pretty sure he does... hmmm!" does wonders to keep her interested in you and keep her thinking about you. (If you still don't quite understand, just think of a good mystery novel, for instance. An exciting murder mystery, really suspenseful, lots of plot twists.... only at the very beginning, they tell you who the murderer is. Not as much fun now, is it?) Naturally, this also means that telling a girl you like her via e-mail, IM's, and over the phone are GENERALLY bad ideas. In very, very rare circumstances, they can work... or if you use a little creativity, they work too. Just don't use them because you're too chickenshit to tell her face-to-face. Anyhow, that ties into the next rule...

NEVER hesitate to touch a single girl.

Makes sense right? Touch is the language of lovers, and if you want a girl to be your girlfriend and to enjoy special time with you, you have to touch her in ways that she enjoys. Begin touch with very friendly, playful, neutral touch, like playfully poking her, or holding her arm... something really simple. Work your way up from there. Don't forget to keep conversation going at this point either, keep talking about stuff (funny stuff works best! Making a girl laugh is very, very good, because it makes her feel more comfortable with you, which is exactly what you want.)

Keep touching, but don't be overbearing, don't be timid, and don't be too aggressive either. It sounds tricky, but it's something that you just learn with practice. It's good to start on the arms or shoulders. Rubbing her back is usually great. One part of her that is crucial to get a hold of is the hand. If she even lets you hold her hand, that means she is generally okay with your touching. The hand is like a gauge to determine how much she enjoys what you're doing. Holding hands is not just something romantic to do... it's like a little meter that tells you how well you're doing. If she squeezes your hand, that's generally a good sign. If she lets go of it, that means you may have just done something wrong... gently grab the hand again, apologise if you must, and don't do whatever you did again (well, not yet anyways.) This part is tough to explain... but touch is crucial. You have roughly a snowball's chance in hell of getting a girlfriend without even touching her. Besides, there's no good reason not to touch a single girl. It can be very mutually satisfying. Just remember, if she asks you not to do something, for god's sake... don't do it! That can really ruin things. And if she asks you to not even touch her, she's almost definitely beyond hope. Move on... kinda ties in with the next section.

Additionally, I've written a TON more, all about touching, over at A Guide To Passionate Touching. It ties in with this.

Until you get a girlfriend, do stuff with as many single girls as you can.

There is NO reason to fawn over one particular girl at a time, if you're not involved in a serious relationship with her. So go out, go on dates with lots of different girls... keep your options open! Before you know it, you'll start looking less desperate, and desperate is a major turn-off to most girls. You'll be more self-confident, your skills with talking and touching will improve greatly, and your chances to get a girlfriend are much higher if you have interests in several girls. Just remember that when you get one as a girlfriend, your best bet is to stick exclusively with her from that point on, until you break up with her. Don't cheat on her, and be honest with her about things that you do with other girls while you're with her. It's for the better. Don't get too greedy. Don't cheat. It's not cool.

Be patient.

There are many, many, many single girls out there. Broaden your horizons. Take chances. Be funny and spontaneous. But don't get desperate over one that just seems SOOO amazing, because when you get desperate, you tend to get stupid as well. Girls tend to not like desperate guys. So just be patient when it comes to dealing with a girl that you like. Let things happen as they will, let it flow naturally. But don't hesitate either, that's just as bad. Just be confident and self-assured, and you'll be more attractive. Dig?

So basically, the plain I like to follow is: Get her alone with you, touch her in ways that she enjoys, and when she's in your arms and you can just feel the mutual attraction... it might just be time to ask her out. And if she says yes, then you could be on your way to a great relationship. And then congrats, you've got yourself a girlfriend.

Labels: Great Tips

How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends

Stumble It!!!

I end up finding out when we've gotten too close, when we've made some compromise that never seemed as detrimental at the outset but now it's the thing running through your mind when you see him, it's the thing you regret.

1) He lets you come over and hang out for hours but he never calls you to invite you anywhere.

2) The one time he says he came by your place, it's completely at random and you're never home when he does, so you have to just believe him.

3) He is the best person to have long discussions with but never tells anyone about the ones he has with you.

4) He warns you in advance that he's a dick and you don't believe him until it's too late.

5) He wouldn't do anything to hurt you, but he wouldn't do anything to help you either i.e. stop you from making an ass out of yourself and cut you loose.

6) He picks up other chicks when he's sitting with you somewhere and it's clear that it's just the two of you.

7) He can break your heart just by never liking you back.

8) He embodies the things you love and hate the most about men.

I'm sorry if this seems like a male bashing node, but I am kind of just responding to the node about How to tell a girl just wants to be friends and figured it needed a bookend. Guys have gotten better to be friends with, but I have had a few really take advantage of the fact that I was gaga for them. And it hurts, especially when you try to sell yourself as a tom boy and they see right through it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Here's a few more for you. Believe it or not, I've actually had to turn down a number of ladies.

* No matter how often you call him on the phone just to talk, he never does it back.
* He tells you he's not much of a "phone guy." This is generally supposed to discourage you from calling, but if he says this and actually calls just to talk, you'll know you're really in.
* He starts doing lots of things on purpose that make him look like a jerk or an idiot, even though you know he's neither when you're not around. This could mean he doesn't like you at all.
* He has sex with you, but only very reluctantly.
* He won't have sex with you. This could also mean he doesn't like you at all.
* He never invites you places without anybody else coming along.
* You kick him in the balls.

Labels: Great Tips

How to tell a girl just wants to be friends

Stumble It!!!

As a big dork, I have become adept at recognizing the signs and trends that indicate that a girl will never have sex with you. Under these circumstances, if you make any indication that you would like it otherwise, if you tip your hand, you will never see her again. Most people who aren't as paranoid as I am when it comes to relationships are not familiar with these signs. I am here to help ruin your confidence and show you just how the woman of your dreams is likely to act if you ever meet her. Enjoy!

* She spends time with you, but only if it's very convenient for her.
* She sits next to you, but only when she likes everybody else a little less.
* If there's an activity she enjoys doing, like jogging or working out, she does it with you. However, she politely declines most forms of follow-up activity, like going back to your house for a drink or stopping for some lunch.
* She talks a lot about other guys that she's been hanging out with, talking to, and/or fucking.
* You're hanging out with her and she sees a guy she kind of knows, gives him her number, and tells you about how excited she is to spend some time with him.
* You try to kiss her and she kicks you in the balls.
* You give her a ride home, she hugs you goodnight, and then she kicks you in the balls.
* She has sex with you and then she calls the cops.
* She kicks you in the balls.

Hopefully this list will come in handy for those guys out there who keep getting kicked in the balls and don't know why.

Labels: Great Tips

Freinds Forever !!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The science of love: Look into my eyes

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

How to steal your best friend's girlfriend

How to get a girl's attention

Some observations on getting a girlfriend

How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends

How to tell a girl just wants to be friends

Links

Previous Posts

Archives